You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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