Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
