Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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