I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
