I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
