she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
