OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
