Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
