She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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