honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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