is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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