If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
