I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
