I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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