i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
