so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
