oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
