I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Randomize
