She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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