I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
