1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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