I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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