Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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