You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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