We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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