after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
