I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
