We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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