There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
