It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
