There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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