He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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