Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
