How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
