the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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