i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
