Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
