We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
