You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
