IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
