Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
