dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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