We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Boobs speak an international language.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
