if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
