umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
