I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
