I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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