Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
