I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I will pee on everything he values.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
