Just fell off a train. Bad.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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