just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
