i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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