Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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